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Y.O.L.O, Baby!

Cherie Neyrey

I got some news on my wife’s birthday. “Position eliminated.” Holy gut-punch, Batman. We were on our way back from a trip to visit our family and celebrate her birthday. I was driving. The owner of the company was speaking about “growth trajectory not going as planned and the caliber of my position not being needed at this juncture.” It made total sense from a business perspective. Small companies have to be very conservative with headcount. That said, I did not see it coming.

My wife was very supportive, but I could see the terrified look in her eyes. I am the primary breadwinner since 2021 when she lost her job. At 60, and after 20 years of service, she was let go because of a protocol infraction. Her termination was BS, but it was what it was. Ageism is also a “thing” and she’s been unable to find a job.

Well, happy 61st birthday, baby. I’m unemployed.

I’m an optimist. Life is hard and complicated. Even when bad stuff happens and things go wrong usually good stuff happens next. I am also a woman of faith. I’ve learned, especially during the pandemic, that the idea of control and certainty is an illusion. There is free will, of course, but I also believe in a higher power who has my back. I try to put my energy into what’s next instead of lamenting what’s lost.

Over the next several weeks, I did what most professionals do. I networked. I reached out to recruiters. I started applying for jobs. I attended networking events. I entertained opening a franchise. I thought about starting a food truck business. My fight responses were intact. I was on to the next adventure. Was I also freaking out? A little; but I’ve learned (after decades) freaking out is a waste of energy. I chose to spend that energy figuring out my next move.

My birthday is at the end of October. Over 16 years of marriage my wife and I lean into experiences for presents instead of things. We buy things for each other, but it doesn’t have to be tied to an event. This year, one of my presents was a 9-day horsemanship camp. If I had been employed, this would have been impossible. I was just too busy to make time for something so awesome, and costly and seemingly “frivolous.” I was on the fence.

Opportunity Lesson (2): Make time for more awesomeness, because you could lose your job anyway.

A little back story. In June 2021 we moved to San Antonio. We don’t know a lot of people, especially horse people. My wife and I had both loved horses since we were young girls. We’d both had experiences with horses for a span of time in our

childhoods. Me, in my boarding school days. My wife with her aunt who competed in the rodeo events. Collectively we had about eight years of experience between our combined 114 years. So, to put it mildly we didn’t know sh!t from shineola.


It’s been a long time dream for us to own horses. We moved to San Antonio to afford a bit of land. Our dream was to own a ranch where we could start some type of equestrian business. This horsemanship camp seemed like a huge opportunity. We were desperately seeking to be more educated and better horse-women.

Side note: You may be thinking, “Aren’t these women also BOTH UNEMPLOYED. Is this a good time to spend money on a horsemanship camp?” No, it’s not a good time. Not at all. We are not rich. We have money “stuff.” We absolutely shouldn’t be doing this.


Self-worth Lesson: If you don’t have the money, blame it on your birthday. You are worth it.

We decided (aka rationalized) that we had to go through with this. We found the money to hold our spots in the camp and decided to take the course. If nothing else it seemed like a productive distraction from our money woes. YOLO, baby! “You Only Live Once” as the kids say.

When we searched for horses over a year ago, we had zero idea when, where, how or what to search for, I mean except that we wanted our own horses. Let’s just say we did not have the best purchasing experience. The “broker” took our budget and our word for our experience and sold us two very untrained, though rideable, horses. Amazingly the horses were just under our budget! What what??? The broker explained that this transaction was just about helping us ladies and not making any money. (picture cowboy on one knee, holding a horse, hat in hand) Right. Let’s just say we overpaid for untrained horses. Live and learn.

Purchasing Lesson: When you don’t know anything, find a trusted advisor.

If you don’t have an advisor and you get bamboozled, don’t cry about it. Always the optimist I was certain something good was going to happen. We are taking a horsemanship course! The clinic was with a trainer named Brandi Lyons. The attendees we met prior were SO EXCITED. I had no idea who this person was. So when we had our initial meet and greet she kept saying things like, “Look, I’m just a regular person.” “Seriously, I’m just human, just like you.” In my head I’m thinking, “Huh, who IS THIS PERSON?” Google, ON.

If you paused to google her, you may have seen what I saw first —the famous Brandi Lyons, porn star. Pause. “That’s not right.” Scrolled. Next I found Brandi Lyons No Limits Horsemanship. Read, then more searching. OHHHH. She’s just the daughter and protege of the famous horseman, John Lyons. Read up on him. He’s one of a couple of folks from the 1970s who changed the way horses were trained all over the world. (Feel free to google) If you’re not interested or you’re not into horsemanship, let me translate. She’s got really strong horse-teaching skills. In truth, she is a gifted and accomplished rider, competitor, horse trainer and people instructor.

Brandi’s clearly understands adult learning and her approach to teaching includes asking participants to fill out a form to outline their expected outcomes. Not knowing anything I said something like, “I don’t want to fall off.” In our pre-session brief everyone went around announcing their goals. The attendees shared things like “Flying lead change.” and “Side passing over a pole.” By the time the group sharing was over I was L-O-S-T.

Awareness Lesson: Start where you are. It’s your only choice.

The clinic was awesome. My horse, Cash, was the class clown. Or I was…or both. It wasn’t until day 8 that I realized my right stirrup was about 4-6 inches longer than the left stirrup. All that time Brandi coached me to “sit correctly” in the saddle and stop bouncing around, I was self-handicapped. This is even more funny because I kept going up to other, more experienced students and asking, “Do my stirrups look too long?” Of course, I was only showing them my left stirrup and not the extra long right stirrup. If you look at this picture, I'm on the left. Notice the length of my stirrups. Which is what I'm sayin...

I learned a ton. Yes, I stayed on. No, I didn’t learn a flying lead change. (Brandi is good, but not a miracle worker.) My wife not only enjoyed the clinic but made a decision to train inexperienced or untrained horses to be solid trail horses. It’ll take a minute, as all new things do, but she has a strong purpose to help others not get robbed or hurt when they buy a horse. We hope no one else has to learn that lesson the hard way.


As for me, I got clarity around my purpose. I am an amazing teacher and guide (with people, that is) and I am back to consulting full time. If you know anyone looking for culture transformation or leadership coaching and development, send them a link to my website.


Life is filled with surprises. Some surprises are just more fun than others. Stay open to what's out there for you. YOLO baby!


Which is what I'm sayin...

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